Written for the tenth anniversary of Dad’s death
Was it today when you stepped into my house for the last time?
When you sat down in the rocking chair and asked how I was doing? I had my school assignment laid out on the table and asked you to help me look at two companies’ balance sheets to decide which one would be better to invest in. You hadn’t helped me with my homework since high school math, and it felt good to have you in that role again.
Was it today when you walked out of my house for the last time? I watched you drive off not knowing that it would be the last time I’d see you. What were you thinking about as you rounded the corner? Did you even know that it might be the last time we would talk?
Was it today when we said our goodbyes for the last time?
Well, it has been ten years since you helped me with that assignment and walked out of my house for the last time. It seems like that was a lifetime ago. I finished that degree and established a ministry. I fell in and out of love. I fell hard on my face only and found myself in a counselor’s office after a suicide attempt. Therapy helped me discover who I am and set me free to fall in love again with my life’s partner.
If you were here today, would you be proud of me? Would you love my wife as much as I do? Would you understand my choices for work, faith and relationship? What would you say to me if you sat down in that rocking chair today?
I’m not the same person who you said goodbye to that fateful day. Ten years has passed, and seasons have come and gone. The world just keeps turning. Life certainly has a way of throwing us for a loop sometimes, and the Lord gives and takes away. But one thing remains: your legacy and God’s faithfulness.
In loving memory, Your son
working on it on and off for a couple of months) and debating whether to post it to the blog. First, I don’t want my blog to be known for my political views. Second, this certain subject could be misunderstood in that I don’t want any government programs to help me. Put all the burden on the church. I’m not that stupid! As I say in the piece, maybe the Lord does help me through the government. I’m just asking what is the role for each organization.
Mary Jane Ponten is a friend, mentor and second mother to me. She has taught me about life and ministry through the years. A couple of months ago, I asked Mary Jane to write out her hilarious story about how disability language changes through the years. Not only did I want it as a memory of her, I wanted to be able to share it whenever I got into discussions about disability language.