Was it Today?

Written for the tenth anniversary of Dad’s death

Was it today when you stepped into my house for the last time?

When you sat down in the rocking chair and asked how I was doing? I had my school assignment laid out on the table and asked you to help me look at two companies’ balance sheets to decide which one would be better to invest in. You hadn’t helped me with my homework since high school math, and it felt good to have you in that role again.

Was it today when you walked out of my house for the last time? I watched you drive off not knowing that it would be the last time I’d see you. What were you thinking about as you rounded the corner? Did you even know that it might be the last time we would talk?

Roger Berge May 25, 1942-October 21, 2007

Was it today when we said our goodbyes for the last time?

Well, it has been ten years since you helped me with that assignment and walked out of my house for the last time. It seems like that was a lifetime ago. I finished that degree and established a ministry. I fell in and out of love. I fell hard on my face only and found myself in a counselor’s office after a suicide attempt. Therapy helped me discover who I am and set me free to fall in love again with my life’s partner.

If you were here today, would you be proud of me? Would you love my wife as much as I do? Would you understand my choices for work, faith and relationship? What would you say to me if you sat down in that rocking chair today?

I’m not the same person who you said goodbye to that fateful day. Ten years has passed, and seasons have come and gone.  The world just keeps turning. Life certainly has a way of throwing us for a loop sometimes, and the Lord gives and takes away. But one thing remains: your legacy and God’s faithfulness.

In loving memory,  Your son